My Tattoo and My Scar

Things in life have changed for me over the last six months. I went from someone of complete certainty in life to someone who hasn't a clue where to go next. I was going to be a music major at ASU in a year after getting my associates in Biology. But through all of this I have learned one thing. When I don't know who I am and who I am supposed to be I can always know one thing: I am and always will be a child of God and He will guide me through life which is uncertain. Many trials that we go through leave us unsure and doubtful as to their purpose. I have experienced many of those. The trial of the last six months has not been one of those trials. I know exactly why God did it.

I was living a 'Me-centered' life. I was looking out for Numero Uno. I did not have a servant's heart most of the time. God has put me through what I am going though so that I would relearn how to live a 'God-centered' life. Sometimes when we stray away from the path, God gives us a spiritual poke, if you will. And sometimes He knocks upside the head with 2x4. Ironically enough, I felt that knock upon the head in my head. The brain disease that I have now is a constant reminder of God's grace. And when I forget that I have a brain disease, I have a two inch scar indented in my head that I can feel every time I reach my hand up to scratch my head and when I wash my hair. God's mark upon me is clear. We don't always get to feel it, but I get to feel mine every day. While the road to a righteous 'God-centered' life is tough. We all should strive to walk down it, for a self-centered life is not a God-honoring life. If people are not noticing a difference in your life from theirs, you have become too swallowed up in the things of this world. I had become too swallowed up in the things of this world.

Now my life, though I don't know what I am yet to do with it, has purpose and meaning once more. Through the helpful words of a Christian brother, God spoke to my heart and turned me back to Him. I get down on my knees in the morning and pray that God would shine through me and whatever I do in that day will honor Him and shine His light to the world. I fall and fail but He picks me up again and again. His love is a tattoo upon my heart and scar upon my head. A tattoo and a scar I'm eternally thankful for. The Elephanty Business:

What I'm listening to: Sanctus Real- Pieces of a Real Heart

Currently Reading: The Bible-God
The Black Echo-Michael Connelly

Quote of the Day: "I have the tenacity of a Swiss Fox and the instincts of a dragonfly"- Shawn Spencer

What I'm Watching: Psych and Castle

Philosophical Thought of the Day: "God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." -St. Augustine

 Best, Alex

It's a Beautiful Day for Chemotherapy

WHAT?? Who says that??? Well not many, but today...I DO! Well,Jesus says I'm supposed to. "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I'm at peace though many say that I shouldn't be. Before I had the chemo and after, I was at peace with what God had decided for my day. I smiled and joked throughout the therapy to show everybody around me that with God they can bring it on with a smile! My relationship with the Lord has grown exponentially since my hospital stay. It's amazing. As someone who struggles with Anxiety and Panic Disorder, I have never felt so much peace about anything in my life. Especially when the doctors are all telling me I will have to live the rest of my life with this disease, whatever is. They're not sure yet, but they will be more sure after a MRI scan. But they know for sure I have a demyelinating disease. My life is changed forever. But I am at peace. So world, met me the new Alex Skaberg.

The Elephant Business:

What I'm Listening to: In Christ Alone: Modern Hymns Of Worship- Matt Hammitt and Bethany Dillon

Currently Reading: Mad Libs

Philosophical Thought of the Day: "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7

Best,
Alex (the new one)

Lonely Algorithms

I had a tough night last night. To say it simply. I had a nightmare and I didn't want to fall back asleep. My Mom wanted me to try some things to go to sleep, I refused. Not physically but mentally. I watched videos on YouTube trying to get myself to laugh and subconsciously trying to figure out why I am still alone. I usually turn to this algorithm after a nightmare, thinking that perhaps some of the reasons I have nightmares are because I am consumed with loneliness when I sleep. What I need to realize is that I'm not alone as much as it feels as if I am, I have my Savior and though being married in this life is extremely important to me, I must not be so consumed that eternally I realize that I will never be alone and that is a truly beautiful algorithm to chew on.

Best,
Alex

The Elephant Business

Philosophical Thought of the Day: Love is just is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
What I'm Listening to: Coldplay "X&Y"

That's it for now =)

Shut the Front Door!

As someone who enjoys writing, I have found that it keeps me busy (there's not a lot to do around a hospital for a month, aside from watching Castle (the best new show on my side of town if I say so myself. So with writers' block for my current manuscript "The African Tree" (and the fact that the actually manuscript itself was lost when my computer crashed doesn't really help either) (back up your computers, writers! and normal people too) But anyway, friend of mine convinced me to start blogging so here it goes. Nothing fancy for the first one in awhile. I will carry on in usual Elephant blog fashion with "Quote of the Day" "What I'm Listening too" "Lyrics of the day" "What I'm reading" "Philosophical thought of the day" (which may or may not be the same as quote of the day) "what I'm watching" and what ever else I may think to add to the elephant section.

The Elephant Business

Quote of the day
"Shut the front door!!" -Kate Beckett
What I'm listening to: Adele- absolutely brilliant
What I'm reading: "Go, Dog, Go" by P.D. Eastman [it's my reading capacity right now and I happen to like it...so deal with it)

Lyrics of the day-I'm a hopeless romantic who happens to be in love so love this song...Adele does a great job with it.

Make You Feel My Love

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love"

-Bob Dylan

Simple Answers

I've been through a ton of mental and physical trials this year that I can't even begin to explain. Of course, it's probably nothing compared to others, but it's the place that the Lord has me. Needless to say, God has graciously allowed to me to begin healing immensely over the last couple months. But this week I started to notice a relapse of a few things that I thought were gone for good. So I just asked my Mom if she noticed I was getting better. Here is a brief recreation of the dialogue.

Mom: "Yes I noticed you were getting a lot better. It's really great. But some of your old struggles are starting to creep back into your life."

Me: "Why do you think that is?"

Mom: "Because you are not spending time with the Lord."

That's it. That's all I needed to hear. She didn't sugar-coat it. She didn't beat around the bush. She just told me straight-up, no strings. So help someone else: When they ask you important questions like the one I asked my mother, give the inquirer a straight-up answer. Show your love by telling them the truth. And help yourself: when you ask a question, ask for a straight, blunt answer. You get to the core problem a lot faster that way. And just to think, I didn't need an hour long conversation to figure out why I was struggling. Just an honest answer.

Currently Reading: "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn

Currently Listening: Rocks into Rivers- Seabird

Philosophical Thought of the Day: Live honestly.

Doing Jazz Again

Saturday, June 27th: That was the last time I posted a blog?!? Cheese. Well, I really would love to start doing this jazz again. So....I am =). I don't know really how to get back into this, considering I just made the choice about 5 minutes ago. So I'm just going to stick with blabbering on for about a paragraph or so to get the hang of it and then post something that's not complete junk tomorrow. So here are the currents:

Currently Reading: The Divide by Nicholas Evans

Currently Listening: Battle Studies- John Mayer

Philosophical Thought of the Day: If we are so worried about who we want to be, we will most certainly stray far far from who we are supposed to be.


Cheers,
FBTI A.F. Skalberg

FBI Problem Solvers Set Number 2

#6 Regaining Skills
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist regain confidence in a skill that presently seems unpracticed and difficult?

A. The FBI Scientist rationalizes by doing the aforementioned skill under somewhat rebellious circumstances and (in this case) plays the electric guitar as loud as the equipment will allow. Problem Solved.

#7 Leisure
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist exercise leisure activities while still accomplishing a significant amount of work?

A. An FBI Scientist does not leisure; this would imply the temporary cessation of intelligent thought in order to achieve a sense of relief. The FBI Scientist always achieves relaxation in an intelligent manner. Problem Solved.

#8 Guesstimation
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist guesstimate a logical conclusion in a short amount of time?

A. The Scientist does not guesstimate; it is not logical to do so nor is it properly using the logic of science. However, by applying a significant amount of intelligence to the work at hand, a logical conclusion may be reaching in a small amount of time. Problem Solved.

#9 FBI Agents
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist approach his newly assigned Agent?

A. A future FBI Scientist retains composure, introduces himself, and lets the Agent know, in terms he cannot understand, that the Scientist is the smart one in the partnership. However the Scientist must retain a certain amount of humility, for the Agent has the gun. Problem Solved.

FBI Problem Solvers.

Even though I have already posted one of my FBI Problem Solvers to the blog...I thought I would post them all in the same place for your learning pleasure.

#1 Pest Control
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist exercise pest control?

A. A stealthy blow with a convenient nearby wooden sword is applied to the pest using a carefully thought out amount of physical strength. After the pest has been considerably obliterated, the Scientist will apply high suction power from a machine with such function and dispose of the body. Problem solved.

#2 White Shirts
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist remove the residue from a red shirt which was transferred to a perfectly white shirt during an improperly planned out load of laundry?

A. By carefully studying a shirt of the said color white, one may ascertain that the color pink the shirt was unfortunately been dyed is not an acceptable color for any article of clothing. By making such a statement, the Scientist will be led to use sodium hypochlorite and sodium nonanoyloxybenzenesulfonate, commonly referred to as household bleach, to wash the shirt and make it white again. Problem Solved.

#3 Driving Optimization
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist go to two stores in under 30 minutes??

A. By mentally mapping out the number of right and left turns and optimizing by making a the fewest number of left turns and using the freeway. Problem Solved.

#4 Laptop Sound
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist enhance the sound system of a laptop that is only meant to be used on a small scale?

A. By reducing the sound level on the laptop to 3/4 of the maximum sound capacity and attaching it to a stereo with 240 watts of pure power, the Scientist will then have surround sound for the laptop with the capacity of a medium-sized home theatre. Problem Solved.

#5 Cleaning the Lab
Q. How does a future FBI Scientist aptly clean the laboratory to the exacting specifications of the lab director?

A. By carefully considering the course of action which must be taken, the FBI Scientist retrieves a large box and puts all unnecessary items and items considered as contributors to the mess, into the box and puts it in someone else's lab. Problem Solved.


And there we are! All up to date and in one convenient location! Love, Alex (Future FBI Scientist)

The FBI Problem Solver of the Day #2

FBI Problem Solver of the Day:

Q. How does a future FBI Scientist remove the residue from a red shirt which was transferred to a perfectly white shirt during an improperly planned out load of laundry?

A. By carefully studying a shirt of the said color white, one may ascertain that the color pink the shirt was unfortunately been dyed is not an acceptable color for any article of clothing. By making such a statement, the Scientist will be led to use sodium hypochlorite and sodium nonanoyloxybenzenesulfonate, commonly referred to as household bleach, to wash the shirt and make it white again. Problem Solved.

CO-JO: Non-Mobile Update Because I Figured Out the WI-FI!

So typing out "My Colorado Journey" as the title for every single entry seemed to bland and uncreative to me. Now I am going for the more creative approach by changing up the title a little bit every day in effort not to bore you, the reader, and to make myself feel more pleasantly creative.

It's about 9:00 local time...but I only use local time when I'm hungry so that I can make dinner one our earlier. And as you can tell, I forgot that I had a wireless button on my computer that I have to turn on in order for the WI-FI to work. As soon as I pushed the handy little button, voila! my wireless worked. Hence my blogging right now.

Today we started out the day by going to have a lovely little continental breakfast...it wasn't as impressive as I hoped, but still tasty. Then we headed up thousands of feet to bike down an insanely steep bike trail/road. Without saying too much about the trail itself, which with all it's varied aspens was beautiful, my little brother and I hit around 25-30mph on our bikes...now that is an amazing feeling...and scary actually. After we biked, we got back to the hotel and walked to the tennis courts, which were clear on the other side of a lake...but so worth it. Tennis is awesome. So we played tennis awhile, I sucked but it was fun whackin a little neon ball around with mi familia. Now after dinner and a little jacuzzi and shower, I am sitting here typing a blog. Not I am going to play some Wolfenstein.

Currently Reading: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

Currently Listening: Slowhand- Eric Clapton

Philosophical Thought of the Day: A writer's way of speaking is putting words into pictures that their reader can see. A musician's way of speaking is putting notes into it's listener's ears so that they can see through everything around them and hear the message of the music.