My Tattoo and My Scar

Things in life have changed for me over the last six months. I went from someone of complete certainty in life to someone who hasn't a clue where to go next. I was going to be a music major at ASU in a year after getting my associates in Biology. But through all of this I have learned one thing. When I don't know who I am and who I am supposed to be I can always know one thing: I am and always will be a child of God and He will guide me through life which is uncertain. Many trials that we go through leave us unsure and doubtful as to their purpose. I have experienced many of those. The trial of the last six months has not been one of those trials. I know exactly why God did it.

I was living a 'Me-centered' life. I was looking out for Numero Uno. I did not have a servant's heart most of the time. God has put me through what I am going though so that I would relearn how to live a 'God-centered' life. Sometimes when we stray away from the path, God gives us a spiritual poke, if you will. And sometimes He knocks upside the head with 2x4. Ironically enough, I felt that knock upon the head in my head. The brain disease that I have now is a constant reminder of God's grace. And when I forget that I have a brain disease, I have a two inch scar indented in my head that I can feel every time I reach my hand up to scratch my head and when I wash my hair. God's mark upon me is clear. We don't always get to feel it, but I get to feel mine every day. While the road to a righteous 'God-centered' life is tough. We all should strive to walk down it, for a self-centered life is not a God-honoring life. If people are not noticing a difference in your life from theirs, you have become too swallowed up in the things of this world. I had become too swallowed up in the things of this world.

Now my life, though I don't know what I am yet to do with it, has purpose and meaning once more. Through the helpful words of a Christian brother, God spoke to my heart and turned me back to Him. I get down on my knees in the morning and pray that God would shine through me and whatever I do in that day will honor Him and shine His light to the world. I fall and fail but He picks me up again and again. His love is a tattoo upon my heart and scar upon my head. A tattoo and a scar I'm eternally thankful for. The Elephanty Business:

What I'm listening to: Sanctus Real- Pieces of a Real Heart

Currently Reading: The Bible-God
The Black Echo-Michael Connelly

Quote of the Day: "I have the tenacity of a Swiss Fox and the instincts of a dragonfly"- Shawn Spencer

What I'm Watching: Psych and Castle

Philosophical Thought of the Day: "God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." -St. Augustine

 Best, Alex

It's a Beautiful Day for Chemotherapy

WHAT?? Who says that??? Well not many, but today...I DO! Well,Jesus says I'm supposed to. "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I'm at peace though many say that I shouldn't be. Before I had the chemo and after, I was at peace with what God had decided for my day. I smiled and joked throughout the therapy to show everybody around me that with God they can bring it on with a smile! My relationship with the Lord has grown exponentially since my hospital stay. It's amazing. As someone who struggles with Anxiety and Panic Disorder, I have never felt so much peace about anything in my life. Especially when the doctors are all telling me I will have to live the rest of my life with this disease, whatever is. They're not sure yet, but they will be more sure after a MRI scan. But they know for sure I have a demyelinating disease. My life is changed forever. But I am at peace. So world, met me the new Alex Skaberg.

The Elephant Business:

What I'm Listening to: In Christ Alone: Modern Hymns Of Worship- Matt Hammitt and Bethany Dillon

Currently Reading: Mad Libs

Philosophical Thought of the Day: "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7

Best,
Alex (the new one)

Lonely Algorithms

I had a tough night last night. To say it simply. I had a nightmare and I didn't want to fall back asleep. My Mom wanted me to try some things to go to sleep, I refused. Not physically but mentally. I watched videos on YouTube trying to get myself to laugh and subconsciously trying to figure out why I am still alone. I usually turn to this algorithm after a nightmare, thinking that perhaps some of the reasons I have nightmares are because I am consumed with loneliness when I sleep. What I need to realize is that I'm not alone as much as it feels as if I am, I have my Savior and though being married in this life is extremely important to me, I must not be so consumed that eternally I realize that I will never be alone and that is a truly beautiful algorithm to chew on.

Best,
Alex

The Elephant Business

Philosophical Thought of the Day: Love is just is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
What I'm Listening to: Coldplay "X&Y"

That's it for now =)

Shut the Front Door!

As someone who enjoys writing, I have found that it keeps me busy (there's not a lot to do around a hospital for a month, aside from watching Castle (the best new show on my side of town if I say so myself. So with writers' block for my current manuscript "The African Tree" (and the fact that the actually manuscript itself was lost when my computer crashed doesn't really help either) (back up your computers, writers! and normal people too) But anyway, friend of mine convinced me to start blogging so here it goes. Nothing fancy for the first one in awhile. I will carry on in usual Elephant blog fashion with "Quote of the Day" "What I'm Listening too" "Lyrics of the day" "What I'm reading" "Philosophical thought of the day" (which may or may not be the same as quote of the day) "what I'm watching" and what ever else I may think to add to the elephant section.

The Elephant Business

Quote of the day
"Shut the front door!!" -Kate Beckett
What I'm listening to: Adele- absolutely brilliant
What I'm reading: "Go, Dog, Go" by P.D. Eastman [it's my reading capacity right now and I happen to like it...so deal with it)

Lyrics of the day-I'm a hopeless romantic who happens to be in love so love this song...Adele does a great job with it.

Make You Feel My Love

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love"

-Bob Dylan